Why I hate gyms #3

Oblivious Loud Music Guy

The ".mp3 revolution" has made personal music enjoyment something that can be done so effortlessly and convenient. I love my .mp3 player. I'm nearing the upgrade stage actually; partially need-based as my battery no longer holds charge for longer than 90 minutes, but mostly want-based, as I just want to have hand-held Wifi...and more memory...and video capability. But that's another subject...

This revolution has also brought about societal behavior that I have found to be extremely annoying. Offenders can be found in pretty much any public area, particularly in public transportation venues. But I find the biggest offenders to be hanging out at the gym...hence this post. *shrug*

"These people" usually are walking around with their heads hanging low, usually watching their toes and nothing else. Often times, it seems like the person assumes you see that they're in their own little world while jamming to Lady GaGa and expect you to watch out for them as they barrel by. They usually don't hold the door for anyone, and they can often be spotted speaking louder than required at coffee shops while ordering lattes because they didn't bother to turn down (or off) their music.

Upon entering the locker room, they usually take care while undressing so as not to knock the earbuds out of their ears, because heaven-forbid they cut-off Fall Out Boy mid-emo-chorus riff. It's always worth a little "idiot smirk" to watch them realize that they don't have any pockets when their naked and they'll actually have to detach themselves from the power pack...at least until they find a towel to wrap around their waist/carry over their shoulder (see nakedness).

They'll bring their music into the steam room so everyone inside can listen to Lil Wayne shouting over muffled secondhand baselines.

I've yet to see anyone wear their music into the showers, but this little wonder may make my wish come true sooner rather than later.

Speaking of steam rooms...

The Hold-the-door-open guy

Yes. This may seem contradictory to my last point, but bear with me.

I get annoyed at people not holding the door for others (within reasonable distance anyway, off topic). I know it's just my mid-western upbringing speaking here, as I've heard of people elsewhere in the country complain about "overly nice people holding the door for everyone," but it's just something you do. Even for other guys.

But, there are two very unique exceptions to this rule: 1) certain public bathroom designs (which is, again, off topic); and 2) in the steam room/sauna.

It never fails. When I go into these digusting little holes, people feel the need to open the door completely open, and hold it there while they walk through, sometimes longer, causing instant drafts of cold air to enter the room, which completely cancels out the point of the room, which is to nearly boil your body...I believe. Some people hold the door for a few seconds even while shuffling their feet like they're walking across an ice rink.

And then there's the guys that are talking around the locker room, and one doesn't really feel like going into the steamer while the other does. They can't complete the sentence before going into the room, and can't wait a few minutes to continue their conversation, so one guy holds the door while standing in the doorway and talking to his buddy who is on his way to the shower.

Is it that hard to notice the rolls of steam flowing out the door as you hold it open? Or better yet, to realize that there are other people enjoying the scalding temperatures inside and would prefer the temperature stay constant rather than waiting another 5 minutes for the steamer to kick in again?

The "I'm going to cool down in the locker room" guy

This one is pretty self-explanatory, but locker rooms aren't usually known for being spacious. There's usually very little bench space, and if more than a few guys are sharing lockers in a row, you can almost guarantee that there will be some uncomfortable nudges.

So where else would you decide to go cool down right after a 5k run on the treadmill upstairs? These guys are usually wearing their earbuds (see above), are still out of breath, and are pouring sweat out of every possible gland near the surface of their skin. Some will stand and stretch their legs using the limited bench space after opening their locker. Some will just sit near their locker, staring at the floor while trying to catch their breath. Some will slowly begin taking off their sweaty clothes, spreading them out nicely on the floor around their locker (which might be kind of smart now that I think about it; kind of like a physical barrier keeping other naked guys at bay...hmmm) Some will stand in front of the mirror and begin to shower...using the sink.

Even after a cool down upstairs on a mat (in the labeled stretching area of the gym), I still continue sweating after going into the locker room. It's always a few degrees warmer, and it's got to be over 90% humidity in there, so it'd be like cooling down on a beach in the Bahamas.

I do know that some people find comfort in rubbing up against other sweaty, naked human beings, but a public locker room doesn't seem like the proper venue for that activity.

Except for some movies I guess...