Oblivious Loud Music Guy
The ".mp3 revolution" has made personal music enjoyment something that can be done so effortlessly and convenient. I love my .mp3 player. I'm nearing the upgrade stage actually; partially need-based as my battery no longer holds charge for longer than 90 minutes, but mostly want-based, as I just want to have hand-held Wifi...and more memory...and video capability. But that's another subject...
This revolution has also brought about societal behavior that I have found to be extremely annoying. Offenders can be found in pretty much any public area, particularly in public transportation venues. But I find the biggest offenders to be hanging out at the gym...hence this post. *shrug*
"These people" usually are walking around with their heads hanging low, usually watching their toes and nothing else. Often times, it seems like the person assumes you see that they're in their own little world while jamming to Lady GaGa and expect you to watch out for them as they barrel by. They usually don't hold the door for anyone, and they can often be spotted speaking louder than required at coffee shops while ordering lattes because they didn't bother to turn down (or off) their music.
Upon entering the locker room, they usually take care while undressing so as not to knock the earbuds out of their ears, because heaven-forbid they cut-off Fall Out Boy mid-emo-chorus riff. It's always worth a little "idiot smirk" to watch them realize that they don't have any pockets when their naked and they'll actually have to detach themselves from the power pack...at least until they find a towel to wrap around their waist/carry over their shoulder (see nakedness).
They'll bring their music into the steam room so everyone inside can listen to Lil Wayne shouting over muffled secondhand baselines.
I've yet to see anyone wear their music into the showers, but this little wonder may make my wish come true sooner rather than later.
Speaking of steam rooms...
The Hold-the-door-open guy
Yes. This may seem contradictory to my last point, but bear with me.
I get annoyed at people not holding the door for others (within reasonable distance anyway, off topic). I know it's just my mid-western upbringing speaking here, as I've heard of people elsewhere in the country complain about "overly nice people holding the door for everyone," but it's just something you do. Even for other guys.
But, there are two very unique exceptions to this rule: 1) certain public bathroom designs (which is, again, off topic); and 2) in the steam room/sauna.
It never fails. When I go into these digusting little holes, people feel the need to open the door completely open, and hold it there while they walk through, sometimes longer, causing instant drafts of cold air to enter the room, which completely cancels out the point of the room, which is to nearly boil your body...I believe. Some people hold the door for a few seconds even while shuffling their feet like they're walking across an ice rink.
And then there's the guys that are talking around the locker room, and one doesn't really feel like going into the steamer while the other does. They can't complete the sentence before going into the room, and can't wait a few minutes to continue their conversation, so one guy holds the door while standing in the doorway and talking to his buddy who is on his way to the shower.
Is it that hard to notice the rolls of steam flowing out the door as you hold it open? Or better yet, to realize that there are other people enjoying the scalding temperatures inside and would prefer the temperature stay constant rather than waiting another 5 minutes for the steamer to kick in again?
The "I'm going to cool down in the locker room" guy
This one is pretty self-explanatory, but locker rooms aren't usually known for being spacious. There's usually very little bench space, and if more than a few guys are sharing lockers in a row, you can almost guarantee that there will be some uncomfortable nudges.
So where else would you decide to go cool down right after a 5k run on the treadmill upstairs? These guys are usually wearing their earbuds (see above), are still out of breath, and are pouring sweat out of every possible gland near the surface of their skin. Some will stand and stretch their legs using the limited bench space after opening their locker. Some will just sit near their locker, staring at the floor while trying to catch their breath. Some will slowly begin taking off their sweaty clothes, spreading them out nicely on the floor around their locker (which might be kind of smart now that I think about it; kind of like a physical barrier keeping other naked guys at bay...hmmm) Some will stand in front of the mirror and begin to shower...using the sink.
Even after a cool down upstairs on a mat (in the labeled stretching area of the gym), I still continue sweating after going into the locker room. It's always a few degrees warmer, and it's got to be over 90% humidity in there, so it'd be like cooling down on a beach in the Bahamas.
I do know that some people find comfort in rubbing up against other sweaty, naked human beings, but a public locker room doesn't seem like the proper venue for that activity.
Except for some movies I guess...
Friday, February 13, 2009
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Why I hate gyms #2
A few more visits to the gym, and a lot more material:
Random Conversation Guy
Imagine walking back from the shower: towel wrapped around your waist, one hand holding your towel and the other holding your locker key. As you walk up to your locker, dodging a couple other guys that are in various stages of dressing/undressing, you insert your key into the lock and open your locker. As you open your locker, the guy on the bench who's locker is open directly next to you says loud enough to hear but not quite loud enough as a conversation starter,
"Oh man, my feet feel like I ran a marathon."
Unsure of whether he's talking directly to you, you assume he's not and that he's actually continuing a conversation with the guy on the other side of him.
"I really need to get new shoes. There's at least 500 miles on these since last year."
Suspecting, you peek over your shoulder to watch for a response from the other guy.
Nothing.
Is he talking to himself? Or worse, to me?
As you continue to peek over, you accidentally make eye contact with him, as he was peeking over his shoulder waiting for a response from anyone, at which point the door opens for a direct conversation with said respondee...aka: a lucky soul...aka: me.
I give him a brief acknowledging nod and smirk, and look right back down to my underwear which has successfully rolled up into a ball as I tried to hurriedly pull them up my legs after dropping my towel.
He apparently takes it as a green light.
Without so much as an "Oh yeah?!" and a couple "Really?!" remarks from me, he goes on for what seemed like 25 minutes about everything from his favorite brands of running and walking shoes over the past 3 years, to the flavor of power bar he had for his last three different types of workouts and why he chose them due to their varying nutritional content, to his soon to be expanding options on his current Minnesota Twins season tickets (depending on the future of his currently booming personal economic choices).
Throughout the conversation (*can you call it that if only one person is spewing a run-on sentence?) I made very little eye contact, and dressed quite rapidly. I tried to not seem rude, but after taking out my gym bag and putting on my jacket, it was pretty apparent that I was ready to bid him adieu.
Not apparent to him though, as his sentence would never end. There, literally, was not a single entrance point in his speech for me to say "Well, have a nice day." It actually took me a few back-steps for him to get the point that I was ready to go home and that I didn't want to hear about the way he haggled down the Jiffy Lube across the street during his last tune-up.
Mind you through nearly the entire "conversation," he was standing straight up, in whitey tighties and black dress socks, and applying lotion all over his body...repeatedly in some areas.
There are so many people that use the gym as a place to socialize; to meet new people; to network. Just make a lap around the free weight area of the gym sometime and watch the number of people with their arms folded or leaning against a rack that are just talking. It's not these people that I'm ranting about though. These people still annoy me, but just a little, and only if I'm waiting to use the equipment that they're leaning on.
It's the people that socialize with random, naked, usually sweaty strangers in a cramped, smelly, humid space that I usually deem as a private area, and an area where my space bubble is a little bit bigger.
I don't want a complete stranger within 3 feet of me, and facing my direction trying to talk about digestive issues and nauseating energy bars while I try to get dressed in front of them. I especially don't want people bringing up their "very favorable economic statures" while I'm in one of the most vulnerable positions possible for judgment, and I don't mean with my latest ATM balance receipt hanging out of my pocket. I mean being trapped in a wound up underwear beartrap at your knees trying to unwind them with one hand and balance with the other hand on the nearby lockers so you don't plant your bare ass on the naked guy's lap behind you.
It's very basic etiquette, learned way back in junior high at your first day of gym class where you need to change in front of your classmates before class, many of which you aren't really true "friends" with, that you don't make eye contact with others while they're naked, and you give them their space until they're done changing. If there's room on the other side of the bench, you grab your stuff out of your locker and change on that side, only returning when all genitalia are re-covered appropriately by both parties and neither are in a precarious position which could cause unfavorable sight lines. Kind of like going to dinner and sitting in a booth. You wouldn't sit on the same side of the table if both sides are open; why would you both change on one cramped side of the bench when there is a completely open side?
Just because I share an interest with you (staying fit by going to a gym) doesn't mean I want to talk about it. I go to the gym as a sanctuary. To blow off steam from work. To focus on sweating and muscle burning and not falling off the treadmill. And finally, to clean up and get home.
If doing a group fitness class, then talking would be perfectly acceptable as long as I'm not ready to blow chunks. We're both in a more specific setting and are sharing an activity. And it has the word "group" in it, indicating that you aren't alone and are supposed to train together.
No where in the tiled swamp called a locker room do I see the word "group" or "team." I want to just go in, clean up, and get out with the lowest number of delays as possible. I don't want to hang out in here, mainly due to post #1 of this series.
And, if you want to talk to someone, at least let them talk back to you. Learn how to use periods in conversation.
At least commas. Commas are good.
Random Conversation Guy
Imagine walking back from the shower: towel wrapped around your waist, one hand holding your towel and the other holding your locker key. As you walk up to your locker, dodging a couple other guys that are in various stages of dressing/undressing, you insert your key into the lock and open your locker. As you open your locker, the guy on the bench who's locker is open directly next to you says loud enough to hear but not quite loud enough as a conversation starter,
"Oh man, my feet feel like I ran a marathon."
Unsure of whether he's talking directly to you, you assume he's not and that he's actually continuing a conversation with the guy on the other side of him.
"I really need to get new shoes. There's at least 500 miles on these since last year."
Suspecting, you peek over your shoulder to watch for a response from the other guy.
Nothing.
Is he talking to himself? Or worse, to me?
As you continue to peek over, you accidentally make eye contact with him, as he was peeking over his shoulder waiting for a response from anyone, at which point the door opens for a direct conversation with said respondee...aka: a lucky soul...aka: me.
I give him a brief acknowledging nod and smirk, and look right back down to my underwear which has successfully rolled up into a ball as I tried to hurriedly pull them up my legs after dropping my towel.
He apparently takes it as a green light.
Without so much as an "Oh yeah?!" and a couple "Really?!" remarks from me, he goes on for what seemed like 25 minutes about everything from his favorite brands of running and walking shoes over the past 3 years, to the flavor of power bar he had for his last three different types of workouts and why he chose them due to their varying nutritional content, to his soon to be expanding options on his current Minnesota Twins season tickets (depending on the future of his currently booming personal economic choices).
Throughout the conversation (*can you call it that if only one person is spewing a run-on sentence?) I made very little eye contact, and dressed quite rapidly. I tried to not seem rude, but after taking out my gym bag and putting on my jacket, it was pretty apparent that I was ready to bid him adieu.
Not apparent to him though, as his sentence would never end. There, literally, was not a single entrance point in his speech for me to say "Well, have a nice day." It actually took me a few back-steps for him to get the point that I was ready to go home and that I didn't want to hear about the way he haggled down the Jiffy Lube across the street during his last tune-up.
Mind you through nearly the entire "conversation," he was standing straight up, in whitey tighties and black dress socks, and applying lotion all over his body...repeatedly in some areas.
There are so many people that use the gym as a place to socialize; to meet new people; to network. Just make a lap around the free weight area of the gym sometime and watch the number of people with their arms folded or leaning against a rack that are just talking. It's not these people that I'm ranting about though. These people still annoy me, but just a little, and only if I'm waiting to use the equipment that they're leaning on.
It's the people that socialize with random, naked, usually sweaty strangers in a cramped, smelly, humid space that I usually deem as a private area, and an area where my space bubble is a little bit bigger.
I don't want a complete stranger within 3 feet of me, and facing my direction trying to talk about digestive issues and nauseating energy bars while I try to get dressed in front of them. I especially don't want people bringing up their "very favorable economic statures" while I'm in one of the most vulnerable positions possible for judgment, and I don't mean with my latest ATM balance receipt hanging out of my pocket. I mean being trapped in a wound up underwear beartrap at your knees trying to unwind them with one hand and balance with the other hand on the nearby lockers so you don't plant your bare ass on the naked guy's lap behind you.
It's very basic etiquette, learned way back in junior high at your first day of gym class where you need to change in front of your classmates before class, many of which you aren't really true "friends" with, that you don't make eye contact with others while they're naked, and you give them their space until they're done changing. If there's room on the other side of the bench, you grab your stuff out of your locker and change on that side, only returning when all genitalia are re-covered appropriately by both parties and neither are in a precarious position which could cause unfavorable sight lines. Kind of like going to dinner and sitting in a booth. You wouldn't sit on the same side of the table if both sides are open; why would you both change on one cramped side of the bench when there is a completely open side?
Just because I share an interest with you (staying fit by going to a gym) doesn't mean I want to talk about it. I go to the gym as a sanctuary. To blow off steam from work. To focus on sweating and muscle burning and not falling off the treadmill. And finally, to clean up and get home.
If doing a group fitness class, then talking would be perfectly acceptable as long as I'm not ready to blow chunks. We're both in a more specific setting and are sharing an activity. And it has the word "group" in it, indicating that you aren't alone and are supposed to train together.
No where in the tiled swamp called a locker room do I see the word "group" or "team." I want to just go in, clean up, and get out with the lowest number of delays as possible. I don't want to hang out in here, mainly due to post #1 of this series.
And, if you want to talk to someone, at least let them talk back to you. Learn how to use periods in conversation.
At least commas. Commas are good.
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